Hoobah Boobah Independence Day Celebration

First of all, you may want to go back to the entry for Sept. 4 to get the stirring story of H.B.L.'s heroic struggle for independence...

On the sacred date of Morshlask 64th, year zero of the Hoobah Boobahn calendar, the warrior chieftain Ralph the Fearless declared victory over the Antarctican Empire (which, it turned out, never existed -- see 9/4 entry). Ralph was crowned Ralph I, King of All Hoobah Boobahns, and the Royal House of Stalactushzz was founded. Milosh 64th is April 2nd in our calendar, and on this date, the people celebrate their independence with fireworks and games. King Ralph always wrestles a Florja walrus in Stalactushzz Stadium, to the delight of tens of thousands of his subjects. Ice columns are brought from the southern region of Nuktor by special train to the capital, Florjabeesh; young men engage in friendly ice-wrestling matches -- gambling on these matches is, of course, illegal (see earlier posts for an explanation of this sport).

After King Ralph wrestles the walrus (the king always wins easily), the poet laureate of Hoobah Boobah Land (the current poet laureate is Zanjjaska Flarrokgo, the first woman ever to hold this honorable post) reads all 121,768 lines of "Our People Are Liberated At Last", the epic poem composed about 500 years ago by Earch Grochneeegoidan, who is considered the Shakespeare of Hoobah Boobah Land (actually, he is more like the Homer of Hoobah Boobah Land, but King Ralph would be offended if I corrected him). The reading can take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours, and the entire audience stands at close attention during the entire reading. No one would even think of leaving to use the rest room, and not just because it is illegal to leave your seat at any time during the reading (which it is), but because Earch Grochneeegoidan is a national hero (poets are seen not as heroes in many other countries, but as harmless eccentrics).

Morshlask Brsto, the fried-fish vendor you read about in "Street Food of Florjabeesh" makes more money on this day than on any other throughout the year.