America and Hoobah Boobah Land: A One-Sided Friendship

The United States has tried to make Hoobah Boobah Land its friend and ally many times. Each time it has failed. Hoobah Boobah Land is just too untrusting of the outside world.

Part 1: America discovers Hoobah Boobah Land

In 1885, during the administration of the 22nd President, Grover Cleveland, a US Navy exploration ship discovered Florjabeesh, the capital of Hoobah Boobah Land. The captain tried to row into the harbor, but he was warned away by the Hoobah Boobah Navy (even though the captain was waving a white flag!)

Grover Cleveland, 22nd and 24th President of the United States of America

Part 2: America tries once again to befriend Hoobah Boobah Land

In 1958, a US spy submarine approached the coast of Hoobah Boobah Land under cover of night. Somehow, the Hoobah Boobahns were alerted to the presence of the submarine, and turned off all the house lights in the area nearest the submarine. The submarine sent a signal of friendship by short-wave radio, but there was no response. As soon as the submarine sailed away, there were three days of celebration.

Dwight D. Eisenhower, the 34th President of the United States, wrote a memo to himself when he was told of the Hoobah Boobahns' unfriendliness: "I have never felt so insulted in all my life!"

Dwight David Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States of America

Part 3: President Richard Nixon tries to make friendly contact with Hoobah Boobah Land in 1973

President Nixon was famous for being the first American president to visit China after China got a communist government in 1949 (Nixon visited in 1972). He thought that if he could visit China, he could visit Hoobah Boobah Land. He had the ambassador to Australia write a letter to the King of Hoobah Boobah Land. But the letter was returned unopened. Nixon resigned from the presidency on August 9th, 1974, before he had another chance to try to visit Hoobah Boobah Land.

Richard Milhous Nixon, the 37th President of the United States of America

It seems doubtful that President-elect Barack Obama will send his Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton, to try to meet with King Ralph VI, the ruler of Hoobah Boobah Land.