King Ralph VI personally warns Argentina and South Africa!

King Ralph VI has released the following statement:

   "I consider all oceans within 800 kilometers of the Hoobah Boobah coast to be sovereign territory of my kingdom.  All vessels not registered under the flag of the Kingdom of Hoobah Boobah Land are forbidden from navigating within the declared 800 km. limit of the Hoobah Boobah coastline.  Not for the first time have vessels flying the flags of the Republic of South Africa and the Republic of Argentina been detected within this border.  All maritime traffic originating from countries other than the Kingdom of Hoobah Boobah Land are forbidden from trespassing upon Hoobah Boobah waters, and will be subject to hostile action on the part of the Royal Hoobah Boobah Navy."

   The governments of Argentina and South Africa have yet to comment on this statement.

A Culinary Journey Through Hoobah Boobah Land, Part 4

On these pages, we have spoken very little about Hoobah Boobah Land's easternmost province, Mauchtoozxziizee. It is HBL's smallest province, true. However, it produces the most delicious baked goods in all of Hoobah Boobah Land. It is unfortunate that, because of King Ralph VI's policy of keeping Hoobah Boobah Land isolated from the outside world, the Hoobah Boobah delicacy known as the hirxfizol is not packaged and shipped from Mauchtoozxziizee's port city, Mauchtoozxz, as pannetone is exported all over the world from Italy.

Fortunately for the Hoobah Boobah people, the railroad between Mauchtoozxz and Florjabeesh (see previous post) is used to transport hirxfizol and many other delicious pastries to the nation's' capital.

What is hirxfizol? It is a cream puff based on the egg whites from the goose-like birds known as "Gloxmeitnorzo" that nest in the well-preserved marshlands surrounding Mauchtoozxz. Because of their unique proteins, Gloxmeitnorzo eggs are ideal for fine pastry making. The rich milk from the Bleegoingaaak (see post from 2/18/08) is another hirxfizol ingredient that sets this Hoobah Boobah cream puff apart from any pastry you have ever tasted.

A Culinary Journey Through Hoobah Boobah Land, Part 3

The Tentacled Porcxslod is a prized shellfish only found on the outskirts of Florjabeesh, Hoobah Boobah Land's charming sea-side capital. Harvested only in November and December (of our calendar: Hoobah Boobah Land has a completely different calendar from our own. See earlier posts for a description of this complicated calendar system), it is eaten at family celebrations, and is a popular snack at baseball games. Since restaurants are not a large part of Hoobah Boobah Land's culinary life, Florjabeesh's few restaurants seldom have the Tentacled Porcxslod on their menus.

The Tentacled Porcxslod is protected by Hoobah Boobah Land's strict environmental conservation laws. Harvesting this creature out of season is punishable by a minimum fine of 1000 Grzzz (the Grzzz is the currency of H.B.L.) and 30 days imprisonment.

The Tentacled Porcxslod is often referred to in Hoobah Boobah literature. In the year 1232, the great Hoobah Boobah poet Earch Grochneeegoidan penned these immortal lines:

Oh Thou delectable creature
Always featured
At celebrations
It should be mentioned
That your consumption is
Seldom lamented
Your beguiling texture is
Your most wonderful feature
I slide you into my throat
With gusto and with glee!

How sad it is that you who read this will almost certainly never get to sample a Tentacled Porcxslod!