A More Complete Explanation of Hoobah Boobah Money

If you read the article about street food in Florjabeesh, you would have seen mention of the Hoobah Boobah currency. Here is a summary of how the money works.

Unit of currency: the grzzz (abbreviation: grz.)

Division of currency: 1 grzzz = 72 gringledits (abbreviation: gr'its).

There are grzzz coins and grzzz bills: 1 grzzz coins and 1 grzzz bills; also 5, 10, 20, 50, 100 grzzz bills. 1 gr'it coins are called greedlz and are equivalent to our penny. There are also 18 gr'it coins that are equivalent to our quarter -- in fact, they are called quartozeez because 4 of them add up to 1 grzzz (see the Hoobah Boobah word for '4' in one of the earlier entries). There is no equivalent coin to our nickel and dime.

The U.S. dollar has fallen about 15% in value relative to the grzzz since I first mentioned the Hoobah Boobah currency. Now, 1 grzzz = about $1.20 US. When I first mentioned the grzzz, it was worth about $1.03 US.

This means that if you went to H.B.L. on a trip, everything would be a bit expensive. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for you, tourism is illegal in Hoobah Boobah Land -- you can't go there (sorry!). So is immigration, so I hope you weren't considering emigrating to Hoobah Boobah Land.

The correct pronunciation of 'grzzz' is something like this: 'grshzshzshz'. If you just say 'grshsh', people will understand what you mean.

The Hoobah Boobahn Calendar

There are six months in every year in the H.B. calendar. Each month has 64 days, so that every 300 of our years (or so), the calendar gets flipped around.

The Names of the Months in the Hoobah Boobah year:

Meeflak

Morshlask (see Hoobah Boobah Independence Day)

Moxclaxk

Fleeghtot

Flershnock

Feelxcoth

Hoobah Boobah Independence day is always celebrated on Morshlask 64th, the last day of the month, because it was on that date that H.B.L. realized it was independent from Antarctica, back in our 10th century. But in reality, since the earth year is 365 days, and the H.B. calendar is 384 days, their dates shift by about 2 weeks a year in relation to our calendar. Our summer (their winter) currently begins in Moxclaxk, but in a few years, the beginning of winter (the winter solstice) will begin in a different month of the Hoobah Boobah calendar.

Hoobah Boobah Independence Day Celebration

First of all, you may want to go back to the entry for Sept. 4 to get the stirring story of H.B.L.'s heroic struggle for independence...

On the sacred date of Morshlask 64th, year zero of the Hoobah Boobahn calendar, the warrior chieftain Ralph the Fearless declared victory over the Antarctican Empire (which, it turned out, never existed -- see 9/4 entry). Ralph was crowned Ralph I, King of All Hoobah Boobahns, and the Royal House of Stalactushzz was founded. Milosh 64th is April 2nd in our calendar, and on this date, the people celebrate their independence with fireworks and games. King Ralph always wrestles a Florja walrus in Stalactushzz Stadium, to the delight of tens of thousands of his subjects. Ice columns are brought from the southern region of Nuktor by special train to the capital, Florjabeesh; young men engage in friendly ice-wrestling matches -- gambling on these matches is, of course, illegal (see earlier posts for an explanation of this sport).

After King Ralph wrestles the walrus (the king always wins easily), the poet laureate of Hoobah Boobah Land (the current poet laureate is Zanjjaska Flarrokgo, the first woman ever to hold this honorable post) reads all 121,768 lines of "Our People Are Liberated At Last", the epic poem composed about 500 years ago by Earch Grochneeegoidan, who is considered the Shakespeare of Hoobah Boobah Land (actually, he is more like the Homer of Hoobah Boobah Land, but King Ralph would be offended if I corrected him). The reading can take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours, and the entire audience stands at close attention during the entire reading. No one would even think of leaving to use the rest room, and not just because it is illegal to leave your seat at any time during the reading (which it is), but because Earch Grochneeegoidan is a national hero (poets are seen not as heroes in many other countries, but as harmless eccentrics).

Morshlask Brsto, the fried-fish vendor you read about in "Street Food of Florjabeesh" makes more money on this day than on any other throughout the year.

More Country Names In The Hoobah Boobah Language

By popular demand, I am including some more country names in Hoobah Boobahn:

Spain: Hispanikooo
Portugal: Lusitoinoin
Czech Republic: Pragg
Slovakia: Slovakkkkck
Sweden: Sueeetwn (pronounced "Sweet-twin" -- more or less)
Great Britain: Brittaniashgoploo
Australia: Eucalyptykko
New Zealand: Antipodeeosk
Denmark: Fiskkalt
Nigeria: Noigarrearoira (now you know why no one from outside Hoobah Boobah Land wants to learn the language)

If you want more, let me know.

The "One" Monument

You may have learned from earlier posts that until about the year 1500, there was no word in the Hoobah Boobah language for the number 1. Before that time, the only way people could express the number one was through subtraction. For example, if a you were buying one fried-fish-on-a-stick from a fried fish vendor, you had to say (in Hoobah Boobahn) "I would like 5 minus 4 fried fish".

When sailors from present-day Bangladesh were shipwrecked off the coast of H.B.L., they showed their gratitude to the Hoobah Boobahns for rescuing them by letting them use the Bengali word for one: 'ek'.

In the year 1765, a monument to the number one was erected on one of the islands that make up the capital of H.B.L., Florjabeesh. Made of Nuktor granite, a building stone only found in that southern region of H.B.L., a giant number one faces northward to Bangladesh -- an eternal expression of gratitude from the people of Hoobah Boobah Land to the people of Bangladesh.

King Ralph VI's Full Title

On important occasions, such as the opening of the "Groshno" harvest festival (see entry below for more information), or Hoobah Boobah Independence Day (an entry is coming soon on that topic), a royal herald will introduce the king by his full title. I've just received a letter from King Ralph VI giving me permission to post this title on this website. Here it is:

"His most excellent greatness, shining with the light of a billion suns; source of all goodness, virtue, and perfection in our fair kingdom; ruling with the wisdom of the ages and gracing us with the benevolence of his power; protecting us with his might: his most royal of all the world's royal highnesses, King Ralph Edward Mergatroid Lesly Reginald the Sixth."

Handy Phrases in Hoobah Boobahn: Part 1

The government of Hoobah Boobah Land does not encourage tourism. I am hoping that will change in the next few years as King Ralph VI becomes more comfortable with the outside world. Start learning the language now, because it is very difficult (see previous posts).

If you ever visit H.B.L., you will want to tell people where you come from. If you are from the USA you would say:

"Selfus yogo Amerikashkazee." That means "I come from America." Note that the word for America is "Amerikashka". The suffix 'zee' is frequently added to both direct and indirect objects in a sentence, especially when you are addressing people who are socially prominent. Here is a partial list of countries in Hoobah Boobahn:

Germany: Alemaniashka
France: Gaulooshka
China: Sinosh
Canada: Canadiashooshka
Mexico: Mejikoosh
Albania: Albaniashgo
India: Indiaziizii
Italy: Garibaldiziizii
Japan: Nipponkoo

AND DON'T FORGET TO ADD "ZEE" TO THE NAME OF YOUR COUNTRY!

A note on the adjective "Florja"

Readers may be perplexed by the adjective "Florja", which has been used in some of the entries. For example, you may have read of the Florja walrus, and the vegetable Florja kale. 'Florja' means that a particular thing is native to the region surrounding the capital of Hoobah Boobah Land, Florjabeesh. It usually refers to a plant or an animal, but Hoobah Boobahns also refer to 'Florja rudeness' (speitate florjabeesho), as a type of brusqueness and lack of consideration that is particularly evident among the busy citizens of the capital city.